{"id":979,"date":"2020-01-06T12:23:05","date_gmt":"2020-01-06T12:23:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pattigermancounseling.com\/?page_id=979"},"modified":"2026-08-15T22:11:47","modified_gmt":"2026-08-15T22:11:47","slug":"family-therapy2","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/pattigermancounseling.com\/index.php\/family-therapy2\/","title":{"rendered":"Family Therapy"},"content":{"rendered":"

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When treating individuals, couples and families in therapy, I use what is known as the \u201cfamily systems theory”.<\/span><\/h2>\n

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\u2022 Problems at school such as bullying
\u2022 Substance abuse in and out of the home
\u2022 Disordered eating
\u2022 Change that impacts the entire family
\u2022 Frequent fighting and arguing
\u2022 Domestic violence
\u2022 Relationship problems
\u2022 Coping with divorce or separation
\u2022 Parent conflict
\u2022 Difficulties between siblings
\u2022 Behavior problems
\u2022 Planning for shared custody of children<\/p>\n

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Self-expression must pass into communication for its fulfillment.<\/span><\/p>\n

—<\/span>Pearl S. Buck<\/i><\/p>\n

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Family Therapy<\/strong><\/p>\n

Understanding the Family as a Whole<\/strong><\/p>\n

Families are powerful systems. The relationships within a family influence how we communicate, manage conflict, experience love and belonging, and understand ourselves and one another. When one family member is struggling, the effects are often felt throughout the family.<\/strong><\/p>\n

My approach to family therapy<\/strong> is grounded in family systems theory, which views the family as a whole rather than focusing only on one person as the source of a problem. At times, one family member becomes the \u201cidentified patient\u201d<\/strong>\u2014the person whose symptoms or difficulties are most visible. Those difficulties are real and deserve attention, while we also explore how they may be connected to patterns within the larger family system.<\/p>\n

Rather than focusing on who is right or wrong, or who is good or bad, we look at what is healthy or unhealthy and functional or dysfunctional<\/strong> within the family. The goal is to understand the patterns that have developed and create opportunities for meaningful change.<\/p>\n

I provide Family Therapy on the Upper West Side of New York City, helping families understand relationship patterns, improve communication, and strengthen their connections.<\/span><\/p>\n

Understanding Patterns Across Generations<\/strong><\/p>\n

In family therapy<\/strong>, we explore the culture of a family across generations\u2014the traditions, values, beliefs, roles, expectations, and ways of relating that have been passed down. We honor the heritage and traditions that give a family strength, such as a strong work ethic, commitment to family, resilience, or other values that are meaningful to its members.<\/p>\n

At the same time, families can pass down patterns that are no longer helpful. Together, we identify the patterns that are positive, functional, and healthy and find ways to preserve and strengthen them, while \u201cshrinking\u201d the patterns that have become negative, dysfunctional, or unhealthy.<\/strong><\/p>\n

We also explore the unspoken messages and expectations that can shape family relationships from one generation to the next. Understanding where these patterns came from can make it possible to decide what you want to carry forward and what you want to change.<\/p>\n

Finding Each Person’s Place in the Family<\/strong><\/p>\n

Every person in a family needs to experience that they are valued, loved, and have a meaningful place within the family.<\/strong> We explore the roles family members may take on over time\u2014perhaps becoming the caretaker, the peacekeeper, the achiever or perfectionist, the person who feels overlooked, or the one who carries the family’s distress.<\/p>\n

We may also look at patterns of favoritism, jealousy, competition, people-pleasing, or taking responsibility for other people’s feelings. Sometimes a person learns that being needed, successful, helpful, or \u201cperfect\u201d is the way to feel loved. These adaptations can follow us into adult relationships and may contribute to unhealthy or codependent patterns.<\/p>\n

The goal is not to blame anyone for these patterns. It is to understand them and consider whether they are still serving the family and its individual members in healthy and functional ways.<\/p>\n

Couples, Parents, and Children<\/strong><\/p>\n

When two people form a couple, they are also beginning to create a new family structure. Their relationship becomes an important organizing relationship within the family. Couples therapy and family therapy often overlap<\/strong>, particularly when parenting, extended family, or other relationships are creating stress.<\/p>\n

We explore how partners can develop a strong and direct line of communication with one another while remaining connected to their families of origin. Parents may also need support in developing a healthy hierarchy within the family while allowing children to have their own voices, needs, and individuality.<\/p>\n

Family therapy can include the whole family, parents and children, a couple within the family, or individual family members when that is helpful.<\/strong> I work with families at many stages of development, including families with young children.<\/p>\n

When Family Therapy Can Help<\/strong><\/p>\n

Family therapy may be helpful when families are experiencing:<\/p>\n